JayFublerHarvey.com

Welcome friends! You’re about to enter the continuing saga on the immense shittiness that is airport security. Once again we visit Cleveland Hopkins Airport aka Continental Hell. In this episode we visit those guardians of safety….those who are paid to be nosy obstructionists…the baggage check-n-scan security guards. You know, the people who’re more concerned that the metal alarm doesn’t go off than what’s actually in your bags.

In a recent encounter with these people, I placed my cell phone and palm in the little basket so that they wouldn’t make the metal buzzer go off. After I went through the detector, they asked me to turn on both items, in an effort (I guess) to prove that they were real. I did so and the checker took about a second look at each and told me to go through.

Did my description raise an eyebrow for anyone? Maybe it’s my warped sense of thought, but anyone with some electronics knowledge could set up a cell phone or palm to just show a starting screen of some sort and do nothing else. And then with the extra space inside, they could store any number of assorted (and possibly devastating) things.

Maybe I should stop thinking such thoughts when I go to airports. Either that or become an airport security advisor. ^^

In the paranoia-WTF category, I submit the Tops supermarket. In a recent visit, I got carded when I tried to buy a bunch of al-key-hall for an upcoming party. In addition to checking my birth date, they actually inputted it into their register. When I asked why she did that, the cashier told me it was just store policy now. I was in a rush, so I didn’t question it, but why the hell would they need to input my birth date? I’m damn sure the misguided 21-n-over law wasn’t altered recently…WTF?

While we’re at the supermarket, let me grab the public sound system for the second: Attention! Women who write checks in line! There’s a new invention…it’s called an ATM/Cash Card….Use it!

I’d like to be more equal oppourtunity with this, but I only see women holding up shopping lines with their check writing. Come on! I know many of you have ATM/Cash Cards…they’re much faster and more efficient…and the cashier doesn’t have to check a list of bad checker writers to make sure you’re not one of them. You can even take the receipt and input the amount into your checkbook tally. What a concept!

Kudos to all the people behind The Producers! 12 Tonys ain’t no joke. :) I’m still hitting my head on the wall for not going to see it when I was in NYC in March. I can imagine this will lead to more Mel Brooks movies being adapted to the stage. What should be next….."Blazing Saddles the Musical"….with its hit song " ‘xcuse me while I whip this out". ^o^

(Actually, I think bringing "History of the World, Part 1" to the stage would be great! "The inquisition…what a show!" ^^)

On another musical tip: Moulin Rouge! What a wonderfully imaginative motion picture. Brighter than life…like a medicated dream. Mix NyQuil, Sudafed and a bottle of Hot Sauce and you’ll get something similar. Nicole Kidman in garters didn’t harm the flick either. ^^ But what really shines are the songs.

I wasn’t expecting a sample mix of 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s tunes in a movie about the year 1900. ^^ I haven’t heard that many samples in one place since the last De La Soul album. From Elton John to Madonna to Nirvana…the popular songs of the past few decades are mixed together in an impressive and often amusing fashion. There were many laughs in the theatres when people recognized lyrics from their favorite songs. The "Like a Virgin" act had me laughing my ass off (I can’t do it justice by describing it…just go and see it). The songs were blended so well that many people waited through the entire end credits just to see the list of songs used.

A Bohemian storm is brewing! See Moulin Rouge today! ^_^