JayFublerHarvey.com

The things you see when you move to Little Rock

For the people of Arkansas: If you think you’ve received some sort of basketball savior in Coach Stan Heath, keep your eyes open. Kent State’s cinderella season had more to do with their seasoned veterans coming into their own and the cohesion within the team that started long before Stan Heath ever got there.

Instead of showing his true coaching skills by staying with Kent State and working with a fresh team next year, he bolts after only one year as a head coach. There’s plenty of words that describe such smegheads of his caliber, but I’ll refrain from mentioning them here. I have a good feeling you Razorbacks will be inventing new ones for him in no time at all.

This is how we greet people in Mr. Robinson’s neighborhood…

Yes, boys and girls…Jei’s going to attack the Kool Aid people again. I have nothing against the product itself. Hell, their first version of Windex Kool Aid tasted like a finely aged bottle of pickle brine. (Goes great with Veal & Pork Grinds, BTW.) I have a problem with the current line of advertising that Kool Aid is using.

The latest shlock comes in the form a happy greeting. Someone’s moved into the house across the street. You’re the neighborhood welcome wagon. So how do you greet them? You and your family knock on the door and present them with a gracious ‘Welcome’ and a pitcher of Kool Aid. Kool Aid?!? No apple pie? No tuna fish casserole? No freshly baked bread? Cheap Ass Kool Aid…with pieces of fruit in it fer shits sake….

It’d be one thing if you were actually moving in…you know, a kool drink on a hot day that’s made hotter by all the physical labor. But after you’re settled in, a welcome wagon with Kool Aid smacks of some seriously cheap-ass muthafuckers. It’s time for Kool Aid to stop promoting their swill like it should be shaken and not stirred.

A Little Test

Find the closest fast food joint that charges extra to have cheese placed on their burgers. Bring in your own cheese. Order the regular burger and hand them a slice of cheese. Ask them to throw it on there and see what happens. Or…if there’s a lot of people in line, ask for their attention. Hold up your pack of cheese and tell them all to buy regular burgers and you’ll give them slices of cheese for free. The real question: How long before the management asks you to leave. ^_-