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There was a time when I wondered what the hell was wrong with the Grammys. They obviously didn’t understand what was truly happening. Had no idea what were the best songs and albums of the year. They just didn’t get it. (Heavy Metal giants Jethro Tull, anyone?) That was 15 years ago…when I actually enjoyed what was played on top 40 radio. (Does that automatically make my 17 year old self musically suspect? ^_^)

These days, I can barely stand the majority of what’s on top 40 radio. Thumping beats will always work, but the number of talentless individuals has just seemed to have skyrocketed. (Reference my “1/4 of an artist” article). Yet where do I find myself on Grammy night? Happy that there’s somewhere I can find out about the true cream of what’s currently happening in all genres. Would’ve never discovered the fantastico Robert Randolph and the Family Band without the show.

As appreciative I might be, I still gotta pick with it… :)
(Note: I did miss parts of the second hour….)

Best Performance of the Night:

My sweet, sweet Alicia Keys performing “If I Ain’t Got You”. Tearing the house down never felt so good. :) (So happy to see ya without those tight braids too, Lady A)

Overblown Moment of the Night:

The “historical” tsunami relief performance of “Across the Universe”. Just because you get a bunch of past and present superstars up on stage together doesn’t mean it’s all going to gel.

Norah Jones sounded scared to be up there. Brian Wilson just sounded bad. And Stevie, Stevie…where was the power at the beginning, man?

On the flip side: More powerful vocals from Alicia. A great harmonica and comeback blow from Stevie. Even Tim McGraw sounded great….

Made for a very uneven performance.

And there’s something simply not right about the lead singer of Green Day breathing air on the same stage as Stevie Wonder….

Unexpected “Am I Hearing This Right?” Moment:

Gwen Stefani and Eve channeling Fiddler on the Roof into a pop song. Holy Toledo, I like it! ^_^

Unexpected “What The Hell?” Moment:

Melissa Etheridge looking like Uncle Fester. Took a good 5 seconds for me to figure it out. Still, she blew mighty game on her Janis Joplin tribute. Keep on rocking, Unc! (Here’s hoping for a quick recovery!)

Need to Check Out:

Los Lonely Boys!
And Queen Latifah’s standards album…she’s not Ella, but she gave good enough to warrant more of a listen. ^^

Oh No…Not Again Moment:

I love Ray Charles…I truly do. But seeing another “someone died, so let’s give it to them” award simply turns my stomach…

Length of the Show:

No more excuses! It’s perfectly possible for any award show to finish on time. The Tony Awards do it EVERY YEAR. Directors…get with the program and stop blaming long acceptance speeches for your inability to run a tight ship.

Eyes Rolling Moment of Night:

That 70’s Grammy Head-Bigwig-Dude talking about a lawsuit against internet piracy and how it’s about compensating the artist for their work. Nothing about the record companies’ raping of the artist in sight…

Oh, Hell No! Moment:

James Brown referring to Usher as the “God Son”. The vomit can’t spew fast enough…

Attention Black Eyed Peas:

When performing in concert, it’s a good idea to rap INTO the microphone. It looks like will.i.am got his degree in it…rest of you need to follow suit.

Attention Marc Anthony:

Get your wife off the stage, please? Thanks.

ATTENTION Marc Anthony:

Seriously…Get your wife off the stage, now!
(While she still is your wife…)

Big honkin’ raspberry to the Rock Hall for excluding Grandmaster Flash and Furious Five from this year’s list of inductees…

Your collective asses better come correct before Run-DMC gets theirs…

Congrats to the kawaii darlings of American accepted Jpop! Their new show, Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi, has set new ratings records for the Cartoon Network.

They’re also keeping it live on the album side…just received a positive 3 out of 4 star rating by Rolling Stone magazine for their new album, Hi Hi Puffy Ami Yumi, which contains music from the TV show.

Keep on, keepin’ on, sistas! ^_^

One of the biggest stories in the Japanese music industry this year was the attempt by JPop queen Utada at breaking into American music market. She had a lot going for her…

She has a enjoyably natural R&B/Pop style which had helped her sell millions and millions of albums in Asia. (In fact, her greatest hits CD, that was released this year, beat out both Norah Jones & Usher in terms of first week sales…1.4 million). She not only was born in America (NYC), but speakes fluent, non-accented English. Island Def Jam had no problem signing her up to a one album contract. (Yes…one album…already a good sign, eh?) It looked like she had a better chance than anyone before her to make it big.

Well…dinna happen…or at least it ain’t happened yet.

Positive:

• Her dance club release, “Devil Inside”, made it to #1 on the Billboard Hot Dance Music/Club Play chart.
  (Chalk it up to the remix..the original ain’t worth spit)
• She got a lot of newspaper exposure and even some MTV exposure.
  (a lot more than any other big time Japanese artist has ever gotten…)
• Her English album, Exodus, sold over a million copies in Japan already.
  (Was released a month before the US release…IDJ gotta get their money…)

Negative:

• She creates an album that not only sounds nothing like what she’s done before, but nothing that’s currently on the popular charts either.
  (While I love creativity, you better be damn sure your new music will make the public respond)
• Exodus has barely sold 20,000 copies (if that many).
• Her first single, Easy Breezy, cried out in dark, looking for someone to care.
• “You’re easy breezy…and I’m Japanesey…” Ugh.
  (Yes, Utada, some of us know the reference, but it still sounds wack.)

Whenever a really big time Japanese artist comes over, it’s always so black and white. It seems like it’s either you make it big or go back home. No putting in your dues…no taking a few albums to try suss things out…not even trying to put a truely radio friendly song out. Don’t know why they expect anything different than what they’re getting.

Sure the industry isn’t always sure how to market them. It’s not like they don’t already know that. Since that’s the case, then perform music that’s easy to market. Sacrifice a little to get your foot in the door. Then show them what you’re truely about.

Exceptions do exist, but always later down the road. Putting in your dues has paid off recently for a couple Japanese artists:

Puffy (AmiYumi): Three well reviewed albums (with a fourth along the way). Many small club dates to build up a new fanbase. Singing the theme song to the Teen Titans show. And now they have their own show on Cartoon Network, Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi.

Toshi Kubota: After a number of well reviewed albums, Toshi hooked up with whole neo-soul gang (?uestlove, Angie Stone, etc) and is getting major props for his new soul album, Time to Share. My man also recently became the first Japanese artist to ever perform on Soul Train!

All hail the Vibe awards! Not even the class of Quincy Jones could keep a throwdown, stab-up from happening right in the front row. And nobody got arrested too…police can’t waste any time on minor scuffle-ups like this. They’re too involved in finding out who shot Biggie, Pac & JMJay….

The quote of evening has to go to the one, the only Suge Knight:

“It’s really important that we don’t take a negative incident like this and do away with the awards”

Extra points to the reporter for seeking out a true expert in the ‘negative incident’ department…

It has begun! Congratulations to Grandmaster Flash and Furious Five for becoming the first Hip Hop group to be nominated for the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Outstanding!

I was fully expecting Run DMC to be the first Hip Hop group to be added, but it looks like those Rock historians really are paying attention to all branches of growth from the Rock tree. Actually, I was surprised the Sugar Hill Gang didn’t get nominated first…but Flash did have more an lasting effect on those suckas who came afterwards.

The others nominees: U2, Randy Newman, The O’Jays, The Pretenders, Buddy Guy, Wanda Jackson, the J. Geils Band, Conway Twitty and Percy Sledge, The Sex Pistols, the Stooges, Lynyrd Skynyrd and Gram Parsons.

The only obvious slam junk to me is U2. Gimme the O’Jays and Buddy Guy too…and make history by letting Flash in! Just leave the Sex Pistols out one more year…^_^

In future, its obvious that Run DMC, LL Cool J and Public Enemy will get inducted. The big question: Will N.W.A. get inducted on their first attempt? :D

Just please…dear Buddah…under no circumstances let Kid Rock induct Flash. But if it must be, have Melle Mel pimpslap him as they come on stage!

My man Junior Kimbrough once sang, “I’m gettin’ old…can’t do the things I used to”. I’m starting to feel that way about the vast majority of popular music today. I used to be able to find something…even of a miniscule nature…to enjoy in “today’s hits”. Even if the only thing redeemable was just a good thumpin’ beat, I could at least feel my body naturally reacting to it. But even that has started to fade away…

I was persuaded to check out the latest MTV video music awards for a certain performance (which I’ll get into later)…and then it happened. A performance by Lil’ John (Mr. Skeet Skeet Skeet himself), Fat Joe, and about 10 other posse members (names were forgotten before they even stepped on stage). And guess what…I felt nothing. Wait…that’s not completely true…I felt tired. :) There was nothing there…I even paused to make sure I was hearing the beat correctly. Thump Thump Thump. It was there…it was good. My body still wasn’t feelin’ it.

Then I realized the problem…there were too many partial artists on stage…and my musical nature rebelled. :) I’ve never been a fan of the “X featuring Y, Z and @” method, especially with its overblown nature that’s present today. I understand from a marketing standpoint it’s like butta. But from a quality standpoint, you feel like you’re getting cheated. You’re not listening to a band…you’re listening to, at best, 1/2 an artist. Someone whose talents are so weak they need to be piggybacked into the limelight.

We used to joke that Ja Rule was only 1/2 or 1/3 of an artist…couldn’t remember the last I heard him in a solo hit. Sadly, Lil John makes Ja Rule look like Marvin Gaye. He’s rating so damn low that they don’t even use those fractions on the stock market ticker. So damn tiring listening to that tripe. “To the window…to the wall”. To clock where I’m watching your 15 minutes of fame tick away…
(See…these artists are so depressing, I can’t even link to them…^_^)

In the end, I was brought some true enjoyment: A “Higher Ground” jam session with Alicia Keys, Lenny Kravitz and Stevie Wonder. There was no feeling of being cheated. There was only the feeling that you were watching something rare and special and hot! One Hall of Famer with two possible Hall of Famers, all masters of one form of another…throwing down like you know they should. No fractions there. :)

(Side Note: Lenny Lenny Lenny…the “Road Warrior” look ain’t for you, baby. Go back to that straight “James Brown” hair you’re sporting on the commercials.)

A request for the two Michaels:

Mr. Jordan: Don’t come back to basketball. You have absolutely nothing to prove. You’ve gone out on top twice now. There’s nothing guaranteeing that you’ll be able to do it again. Take a look at past champions that kept coming back. Eventually, they felt flat on their ass. Don’t do the same.

Mr. Jackson: Good luck on your current endeavor and enjoy your American swan song. I really do hope you can connect with the current generation, but I doubt you’ll be able to. You’re still doing the same damn moves you were doing twenty years ago and you haven’t grown much musically at all. BTW, put the plastic surgery knife down! You look like a fucking ghost. Someone had to tell you…

Two words: Alicia Keys

More words: Deft skill in manipulating those 88s as well as the vocal R&B stream encased within a sweet honey coated piece-o-fine-ass…

Two final words: OH YEAH ^_^

To all those people searching for Utada Hikaru’s "Blow My Whistle":

There’s nothing about it on Hikki’s website. I’m assuming she’s waiting for Rush Hour 2 to be released in Japan before she makes any official notice about it. If you’re looking for the song and you’re in the US, just go buy the Rush Hour 2 soundtrack. If you’re not in the US, you can find it in one of the music sharing programs like WinMX. Also, try out the sample of the song on Amazon.com.

While you’re at it, check out Hikki’s "Final Distance", a vastly superior song!