JayFublerHarvey.com » Sports

Best Joke I’ve Heard All Week

Jay — Sun, 11 Jun 2006 21:05:24 +0000

“Bud – Official Beer of the 2006 FIFA World Cup“

My condolences to all the football fans that actually have to leave the stadium in order to find a real beer. I tip my bottle of La Chouffe to the lot of ya :)

Big props for Jei’s teams of the moment: USA, Netherlands (Big Orange!), Japan, and all the real underdogs (Go Trinidad and Tobago!)

Special consideration for ABC/ESPN for doing a better job this time with the commentating. (Still not up to Univision level, tho…)

Update [6/18/06]: In protest of Bud’s sponsorship of the games, a thousand Dutch fans came to a game with the logo of a Dutch brewery on their pants. The fans were forced to remove their trousers and watch the game in their underpants!

[GOOOOL!]

Turkey Day wish for the NFL

Jay — Thu, 25 Nov 2004 20:05:19 +0000

National Football League….Please please please!
Start rotating ALL the teams that play on Thanksgiving so this Dallas & Detroit ‘classic’ nonsense can come to an end. Not just because both D&D suck this year…but just to give a chance for the fans to see something different…even perhaps see their favorite team play more often (instead of once every eon).

To borrow a bit from my man, Dave Chappelle, “What can I say about the Thanksgiving Classic that hasn’t already been said about Afghanistan. It’s bombed out and depleted.”

Piston fans…you had to be big shots, didn’t ya…

Jay — Sat, 20 Nov 2004 22:30:23 +0000

…you had to throw that plastic cup…

Attention to all those over-macho, sports obsessed assholes out there… You know-it-all, armchair supreme coach wannabees. Those who not only know they could do a better job, but if they were down there, they’d kick those players asses…

Gentlemen…your brothers-in-arms, Detroit Piston fans to be exact, learned the hard way last night that there’s only so many times you can shout and throw shit at players before they come up into the stands and whoop yo assssss….

Many extra GTA respect points to the Indiana Pacers’ Ron Arest and Jermaine O’Neal for the easily the best “You got knocked the fuck out!” punches of NBA fans I’ve ever seen…omigoto and a bag of chips, gentlemen!

Side Note: While he’s been indefinitely suspended, there’s one big plus for Ron “Five Fingers of Pain” Artest…he won’t have to worry about making time to promote his new rap album. He’s got all the time in world now…

WTF! WTFH!! WTMFH!!!

Jay — Sun, 08 Sep 2002 04:18:52 +0000

Memo: To The Cleveland Browns

Gentlemen…I sincerely hope your collective asses will KEEP YOUR DAMN HELMETS ON YOUR FUCKING HEADS until you’re on the sidelines or in the locker room in the future!

You must also let me know of the internal efforts to get Rudd out of the Stadium without him being skinned alive. Should make for an interesting tactical term paper…

Sommamabitch!

Dueling Michaels

Jay — Mon, 10 Sep 2001 06:00:31 +0000

A request for the two Michaels:

Mr. Jordan: Don’t come back to basketball. You have absolutely nothing to prove. You’ve gone out on top twice now. There’s nothing guaranteeing that you’ll be able to do it again. Take a look at past champions that kept coming back. Eventually, they felt flat on their ass. Don’t do the same.

Mr. Jackson: Good luck on your current endeavor and enjoy your American swan song. I really do hope you can connect with the current generation, but I doubt you’ll be able to. You’re still doing the same damn moves you were doing twenty years ago and you haven’t grown much musically at all. BTW, put the plastic surgery knife down! You look like a fucking ghost. Someone had to tell you…

Bravo Golden Flashes!

Jay — Mon, 19 Mar 2001 02:11:49 +0000

DAMN! Kent State had their asses handed to them. So rude too…Cincinnati didn’t even bother to wrap it…they just put a bow in the buttcrack, set it on fire and left it on their door step. ^^; (The burning smell of ass-hairs must have been wonderful…)

Ah well. Way to go, Golden Flashes! All that world class water you’ve been drinking must have done you good. ^^

NCAA Beatdown a-comin!

Jay — Fri, 16 Mar 2001 02:14:41 +0000

Really quick one:

GO KENT STATE! ^_^
(Bring on Cincinnati!)

Olympics + 15 hour time delay = Profit!

Jay — Fri, 15 Sep 2000 05:59:51 +0000

Olympic edition! Gotta attend the Olympics in some fashion before I turn 40…No Doubt! (Damn, that lighting of the torch was cool..delayed, but cool!)

Start making those Olympics bets with those who are internetly challenged. Finding out the results 15 hours before they’re broadcast on US could be a gold mine…take full advantage and make me proud!

Side note: When the torch was coming through the tunnel, was it just or me, or did anyone else think it looked like an Olympic joint?